Psychology Guide

Enright asserts that forgiveness is essentially, the “foregoing of resentment or revenge” when the wrongdoer’s actions deserve it and instead giving the offender gifts of “mercy, generosity and love” or “beneficence” when the wrongdoer does not deserve them. In other words, when people forgive, they essentially give up the anger to which they are entitled and give to their offender a gift to which he or she is not entitled. Depending on the seriousness of the offense and the length of time that the person offended has lived with and- perhaps denied- the harm caused by the offense, forgiving may be a long, difficult and painful process.

The Four Phases of Forgiving

Uncovering Phase, a person “gains insight into whether and how the injustice and subsequent injury have compromised his or her life.”This involves confronting the nature of the offense and uncovering the consequences of having been offended. A fundamental step in coming to offer forgiveness to an offender is clarifying the nature of the offense and how it has compromised one’s life. This means determining as objectively as possible who did what to whom. One cannot forgive an offense that did not occur, although one may be able to resolve the anger aroused by a perceived offense when the actual nature of the event is understood. And psychologically, people cannot forgive an offense committed against another, although they can forgive the secondary or indirect effects which they themselves do experience after someone else has been offended.

For example, if someone abuses, or a drunk driver hurts or kills, a close family member or friend, one cannot forgive the abuse or drunk driving offense. But one can forgive the emotional pain, distress and loss experienced by oneself because one’s loved one was victimized.

Decision Phase, a person “gains an accurate understanding of the nature of forgiveness and makes a decision to commit to forgiving on the basis of this understanding.” Although there are many religious, spiritual and cultural commandments or mandates to forgive an offender, forgiveness is and must be a “free choice.” At the least, a person must be willing to become willing to forgive. For a person trapped in the “prison of unforgiveness”, deciding to forgive may involve realizing that what one has been doing to overcome the harm and suffering caused by an offense is not working. Deciding to forgive may begin when a person is- in Twelve Step words- “Sick and tired of being sick and tired.” At this point, a person not only is “pushed by the pain” of unforgiveness, but also “pulled by the hope” that learning to forgive one’s offender will free the one offended from further, avoidable suffering. So, at the end of this phase, the person stuck in and suffering from unforgiveness realizes that forgiveness is an option and makes a decision, however tentative or weak, to begin forgiving.

Work Phase involves actually working on forgiving. In this phase, a person “gains a cognitive understanding of the offender and begins to view the offender in a new light, resulting in positive change in affect about the offender, about the self, and about the relationship.” Concrete actions in this phase commonly begin with working toward an accurate understanding of the offender. This reframing may involve rethinking the offensive situation or seeing the offender from a new perspective, as “a person who is, in fact, a human being, and not evil incarnate”.

Deepening Phase, a person “finds increasing meaning in the suffering, feels more connected with others, and experiences decreased negative affect and, at times, renewed purpose in life.” In this phase, one may discover that in the process of forgiving, one finds release from the “emotional prison” of “unforgiveness, bitterness, resentment and anger.” As one’s ability to forgive deepens, one may find new meaning in one’s suffering and new purpose in one’s life for having suffered unjustly. One also may discover one’s own need to ask for forgiveness from others, perhaps even toward one’s offender.

Statements for various stages :-

PHASE I—UNCOVERING YOUR ANGER
How have you avoided dealing with anger?
Have you faced your anger?
Are you afraid to expose your shame or guilt?
Has your anger affected your health?
Have you been obsessed about the injury or the offender?
Do you compare your situation with that of the offender?
Has the injury caused a permanent change in your life?
Has the injury changed your worldview?

PHASE 2—DECIDING TO FORGIVE
Decide that what you have been doing hasn’t worked.
Be willing to begin the forgiveness process.
Decide to forgive.

PHASE 3—WORKING ON FORGIVENESS
Work toward understanding.
Work toward compassion.
Accept the pain.
Give the offender a gift.

PHASE 4—DISCOVERY AND RELEASE FROM EMOTIONAL PRISON
Discover the meaning of suffering.
Discover your need for forgiveness.
Discover that you are not alone.
Discover the purpose of your life.
Discover the freedom of forgiveness.

The symbol for psychology represents the penultimate letter of the Greek alphabet, psi, which is also the first letter of the Greek word psuche, meaning mind or soul, from which the term psyche arose; which in turn gave us the name of the discipline psychology which is most commonly defined as study of the mind.

The story of the psychology symbol involves some mythology and the strange evolution of the term “psi” (Ψ). It’s the twenty-third letter in the Greek alphabet, and at some point, the Romans transliterated it to form the word psyche. It meant butterfly in Latin, but it went on to mean things like breeze, breath, energy, and finally soul.

Anyone who’s studied psychology will remember how when they got to college, this strange symbol would show up just about everywhere. Books, professor’s offices, informational notes… Anyone curious about this branch of science will recognize it too, because it’s become part of a culture of symbols that’s common in a lot of other disciplines, like philosophy and “phi” (Φ).

“The word psychology originated from the fusion of Greek words ψυχή and λογία.”

Still, there are times when we take these symbols at face value and don’t think much of them. It’s also true that a lot of us believe in urban legends that distort some of the magic of our roots. Along these lines, it’s common to hear people say the psychology symbol (Ψ) is a trident. More specifically, they say it’s the devil’s trident.

This incorrect theory has its origins in the times when people saw mental illness as demonic possession. Mental disorders had supernatural sources like spells and witchcraft, things beyond human control. That meant everything was in the hands of the church, and, of course, the stake. But nothing could be farther from the truth. So let’s look at the real origins of the psychology symbol.

The history of the psychology symbol (Ψ), the science of the soul

In ancient Greek, the word psyche (as we mentioned earlier), meant butterfly. This insect was also a symbol for the breath of life, a breeze, a life-giving wind… Little by little, thanks to the Roman Empire’s influence, the word ended up symbolizing the human soul. What they saw it as was our life-force, also known as “ka” in Egyptian culture.

The Greeks and Romans had a very specific view of the soul when it came to people. One of their beliefs was that, when someone died, that “ka” the Egyptians talked about would leave their body in the form of a breath of air. That breath would take the shape of a butterfly. There was nothing terrifying about that image in their mind, either. For them, butterflies represented light, change, and hope.

The history of the psychology symbol took on that term, psyche. Later on, it would come “logia” (ψυχή and λογία). This is how, over time, its etymological meaning went from “the science of the soul” to the science of the mind”. Naturally, the symbol “Ψ” was used as its primary symbol, like an abbreviation.

The myth of Eros (Cupid) and Psyche

In Greek mythology, the word “psyche” means more than just butterfly, soul, and mind. Psyche was also a goddess, a beautiful being with butterfly wings. Her love story is one of the most beautiful love stories of all time and it was immortalized by Apuleius in Metamorphoses (The Golden Ass).

According to the story, out of the King of Anatolia’s three daughters, there was one who was truly special. She was so delicate, attractive, and full of joy that Aphrodite herself became jealous, seeing this young woman as a rival. She was so desperately jealous that she immediately sent her son, Eros (Cupid), to shoot her with his arrows. She wanted young Psyche to fall for the most terrible, ugly, and heartless man in all of Anatolia.

But nothing went according to plan. Instead, it was her son, Eros, who fell for Psyche. Unable to stop himself, the young god decided to go to her room every night to win her over and make her his. And so it was. Psyche fell head over heels for a stranger who visited her each night in the dark. She couldn’t even see his face. The stranger was a god who wanted to keep his identity a secret.

But something went wrong. When Psyche told her sisters about it, they told her she shouldn’t continue the relationship if she didn’t see her mysterious lover’s face. So that’s what she did. While Eros was sleeping in her bed, she brought a lamp close to his face. In that moment, Aphrodite’s son woke up and stormed out, absolutely enraged by Psyche’s audacity.

The trials of Psyche

Inconsolable, downhearted, and regretful, the King of Anatolia’s daughter went to Aphrodite to ask for help. Eros’ mother saw this as an opportunity to get the upper hand on her. She saw it as her chance to rid the world of this woman who rivaled the goddess of beauty herself. She gave her four trials, four tasks to complete if she wanted to have Eros’ love and forgiveness. But the trials involved going to the underworld, facing Cerberus, traveling with Charon, and later on with Hades in order to reach Persephone and ask her for some of her beauty, which she kept in a little box.